At 10:30pm on Wednesday night, I opened Netflix looking for something to fall asleep to and instead ended up bingeing the entire series SEX/LIFE and I have zero regrets. Run…do not walk, if you enjoy watching soft-core porn. If you’re looking for romance and a great ship, then turn around because you won’t find that here. I’ll tell you why in just a second, but first…a little summary for those who have no clue what I am talking about. I’ll be as cautious as possible but I am adding this warning now for possible spoilers ahead! Read with caution!
Sex/Life (Netflix, 2021) is about Billie, a suburban housewife, her two beautiful children, smoking hot husband Cooper, and juicy journal entries about her steamy sexcapades with her ex-boyfriend, Brad, from long ago. Her husband finds this journal and it sends her present relationships into a complete tailspin. Starring: Sarah Shahi (Billie Mann), Adam Demos (Brad Simon), Mike Vogel (Cooper Connelly), Margaret Odette (Sasha Snow).
Based on the memoir 44 Chapters on 4 Men by BB Easton. (I ordered my copy but the book is currently backordered everywhere haha!)
What would you do if you found out that there was a whole different side to your significant other?
Billie appears to have the picture perfect life — sexy and successful husband, gorgeous Greenwich, Connecticut home, two children, successful author/professor best friend — the whole nine. But what does she have for herself? It’s revealed early on that she gave up her work to become a SAHM (Stay-At-Home-Mom) after giving birth to her second child and she loves her kids, but is feeling unfulfilled. After an unsuccessful attempt to have sex with her husband — he had the football game on, so let’s be real – he can’t become aroused enough to properly fuck her. She tells him to grab the vibrator, but it dies two seconds later. If you have never experienced this, then count your blessings because when all you need is to orgasm and the vibrator dies, you just want to break something. This is one of the biggest reasons why I don’t want to have a television in my bedroom when I live with someone I am dating.
In a later scene, she grabs her laptop and opens up this word document that serves as her journal and begins detailing her secret sexual past. Cooper, her incredibly nosey and clearly insecure husband, reads her journal and is visibly upset the next day about the things she wrote. Here’s a little tip, Cooper. Instead of being such a prick, why don’t you just have an honest conversation with your wife? I felt like something that was seriously lacking in their husband/wife relationship was their ability to communicate. Billie is convinced that she can’t have it all – the “perfect” husband/family and great sex. Part of me felt that we didn’t need eight sixty minute episodes to explore this, but another part of me also felt like she needed to go on this journey and figure it out for herself.
Brad was an emotionally abusive creep and I couldn’t even understand why Billie was with him for as long as she was, but then I remember that I dated, loved, and still love someone who is awfully similar so I will not judge her for that. In matters of the heart, we seldom listen to our gut even when it screams at us from within. As you watch each episode, I feel like it’s clear to the audience and to the story that Billie is in love with her old sex life with Brad’s (well endowed) penis and not actually Brad the person. She is very clearly thirsty for the D!
At the end of the last episode, you may or may not be shocked by the conclusion to this tale. I was definitely shocked. While I wasn’t impressed with the script, nor the back story to these characters, I was impressed by how familiar it felt. I know what it’s like to be with someone who no longer satisfies your sexual needs and how difficult it can be to have those kinds of conversations with your partner. My sexual relationship with my boyfriend was very different from that of my ex-fuck buddy and I didn’t ever want him to know about my past. But eventually, I became bored with our sex life and then when I would try to introduce things my fuck buddy and I did, he would become defensive or weirded out. I also know exactly what it’s like to crave the one person who you know knows exactly what you need.
No one wants to be told that they aren’t making their significant other happy any more, especially in the bedroom. This problem is two-fold for me: sex is still seen as taboo and is viewed by many as something that isn’t discussed. However, if you’re sexually active in a relationship, shouldn’t we be able to openly talk about the things that really get us going? Communication is key and if you can’t communicate freely, then what does that say for your relationship?
This isn’t an uncommon thing though. I know from my own experiences that I did not feel comfortable telling my then boyfriend about the sexual acts that I enjoyed and the one time I tried, he left the conversation feeling completely inferior to my college fuck buddy. He didn’t say it, but his actions showed me. After that conversation, our sex life essentially died and I think that was because he felt like, no matter what we did in the bedroom, that he couldn’t satisfy me.
Look, I’m an open book when it comes to sex and I could probably talk about this for hours. I feel like I had a really important point that I wanted to mention, but for the life of me, I can’t remember. If you’ve watched the show, let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear from you! If you’ve experienced something similar to this, let me know that too!