Finding the Christmas Spirit

Merry Christmas Eve, everyone! No, I haven’t turned in for the night quite yet. I’m busy downloading e-books from work and updating Goodreads. How’s everyone doing? I feel like December has been a giant roller coaster of emotions for me and I am struggling to be happy — to be positive. I’m struggling to like myself and make peace with 2020 as a whole.

Our villagers are ready for the holidays. Does anyone else have these Department 56 figurines?

I can’t bring myself to get excited for the holidays because my family can’t all be together this year. It’s more than that, though. This entire year, I’ve had this deep, gnawing, gut feeling of fomo (fear of missing out) and I have no clue why because EVERYONE HAS MISSED OUT ON THIS YEAR! I felt it during the Supernatural season 15 finale, I felt it when everyone was busy posting their engagement posts, and I especially felt it during the finale of The Bachelorette this week (Tayshia and Zac C. forever!) It’s been eating away at me slowly so when there is actually something to be excited for, I can’t get myself to feel that emotion.

I feel emotionless.

Christmas is missing from my heart and I’d like to get to 2021 so we can reset the clock and try again. Next year has to improve, right? Is anyone even making any resolutions? Normally I make a list of the things I want to work on every year. but last year’s list became null and void, so should I even bother?

Okay…rewind…it’s 1am on Christmas Eve. I have a morning walk planned. gifts to wrap, cookies to bake, and linguini with which I will stuff my face for dinner. Can I find enough strength and spirit within me to do at least that much? I’d love to know what you’re doing for Christmas Eve. Let me know in the comments below or feel free to reply privately on the contact me page! I love hearing from readers!

Stay kind. Stay healthy

Buon natale. Feliz navidad. kalá Christoúgenna!


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