Fitness, Home

Taking Back Control

Starting Weight: 280

Current Weight: 274

Goal Weight: 200

When I started this weight loss journey in March of 2019, I weighed in at 280 lbs. I have horrible anxiety which is why I have been hesitant to share my journey on this blog. I’ve become comfortable making my life a little more public on social media – particularly Instagram (feel free to follow me here ), but I’m trying to embrace taking the time to document this journey. Weight loss isn’t about choosing the correct diet or trainer. It’s a lifestyle change. You have to, somehow, dig your way past a pile of old bad habits and replace them with new ones. When I lived in New Haven, I used to make sure that I would go to Planet Fitness at least twice over the weekend, since I worked in NYC and could not get there during the week. Typically I’d go, and I would use the elliptical for about 30 minutes, and then I would get on the next bus heading back to my neighborhood. I did that for a long while, but eventually, I gave up after looking at myself in the bathroom mirror one night saying “You’ll always be fat” and walking out and never looking back.

I was depressed, struggling with an emotional eating disorder, and had a horribly low opinion about myself. It took me finding the right path to my current job, renewing friendships, and re-evaluating my how much I cared about my health and wellness. I realized that I was ready to lose the weight. I knew that it would be hard work and it wouldn’t happen quickly, but here we are!

It took me about a year to adapt to my new routine – working out 6x a week and logging everything that I eat and drink during the day. I didn’t see a huge drop in my weight because I’m still learning about the nutrition and portion control piece of this whole journey. I’ve been battling my weight for years so I’m not upset by the stagnant numbers on the scale. So many of my friends say that I should throw away the scale and focus on how I feel. It’s good advice, but that tactic has never worked for me. I don’t weight myself everyday. Sunday is my official weigh-in day, but I do a check-in on Wednesdays. Since I get up for work at 6 am, I try and weigh myself consistently at that time on those days. An entire year to fall into a starting rhythm…

When I was commuting into the city, I would try to make it to my regular gym, SoulCycle, or a boxing class at least two to three times a week. My weekends were spent working out at home because, let’s be honest, who wants to commute home later than necessary on a Friday night? Now that I am working out at home in a more permanent sense, I have learned to embrace virtual classes and personal training. It took a few trial runs, but I finally found a personal trainer that I love working with, that respects my abilities, but challenges me to push past self-imposed limits. When I say I can’t do something, he reminds me that I can. Burpees, are one example. I hate burpees with a burning passion but they are one of his favorite exercises. Since working with him, I’ve been working on my abs and strengthening my core and it’s actually working. Who would have thought?! Haha! Bicycle crunches, regular crunches, leg lifts, scissor kicks, and Russian twists (he likes to call them British twists.) Working out your abs is one of the most difficult things ever. If I could just pray for flat abs, I would, but then I’d learn nothing I suppose, right?

Lately, I’ve been lazy about working out and sticking to the promises that I made to myself at the start of this whole journey. So here I am, re-affirming those promises/goals:

  • Going to bed earlier/Waking up earlier
  • Practicing mindfulness every morning
  • Working out 6x a week
  • Drinking 140 fl.oz. of water a day
  • Tracking everything I eat

I want to lose the weight. Eighty pounds is just the tip of the iceberg, but I know that if I stick to a plan and keep my eye on the prize, then I’ll put myself on a path towards happiness!

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