I am tired…and not in an “I should go to bed” type of tired. My tired is tired of being hurt and lied to by the people I throw all of my trust into. I give them everything, and in return, I get spat on.
I am tired of having to cheer myself up because each time I have to do it the effects are never long-lasting. There needs to be someone out there somewhere who is meant to keep me happy.
The routine is so old by now that I actually just fall into the motions without any forethought. I give myself a manicure/pedicure and I watch The Hills because the next day I wake up feeling just as fabulous as Lauren Conrad looks.
My true nature is really a dangerously spiked cocktail of Audrina and Lauren. I am the good girl who falls for all the wrong guys and allows myself to continuously lose myself in a toxic relationship. I spiral, for a while, until I end up here – painting nails and viewing season 1 of The Hills. It has been almost a year since I have needed my girls. I have not had a proper chill session with them since before I met Zachary. I kicked them to the curb because I thought I found my bliss.
Wrong! So wrong.
I love him…I do, but I refuse to be the Audrina to his Justin Bobby.
My ideal mate is someone who wants to start getting serious, settling down, and thinking about saving for the future, kids, a house. I want a house in Napa Valley; I want to move to Los Angeles. My mate needs to be able to pay for my expensive take-out habits, my book store addictions, my Amazon purchases, and all the other spendy things I do.
I need Brody Jenner, not…um…well…someone who is not making good money.
If there is a man out there who would not mind whisking me away to Cabo San Lucas tomorrow that would be excellent.
Is spendy even a word? I do not believe so, but I have it on good authority that a writer can invent her own words.
Today, I have an interview in Manhattan. I should sleep, but I am waiting for my nails to dry. Plus I am watching The Hills.
Lemme get back to these things so I can sleep soon.
I will let you know all about the interview.